Superbowl ads, ammirite?
I didn't see the Superbowl because, like, why would I? Everyone who knows me is pretty much aware of my antipathy toward spectating sports. I just didn't inherit that gene. An evolutionary step forward, I suppose.
I did, however, watch all the ads a couple days before. Mostly in order to prep for this illustration, but still. The offerings were mostly predictable. A lot of work to craft the female form into a sexual object. (And of course I have a different view on objectification than a lot of people, but I won't bore you with that.)
Here's my summary of the ads:
• I didn't understand Fiat's scorpion one. I mean, sure, a pervy scorpion. We're all on board with that one. 'Cuz scorpions, ammirite? But when he undoes the oblivious woman's top, she sees a Fiat and completely forgets that there's a creepy pervy monster crawling up her back. Where is the justice? Fiat doesn't believe in justice.
• The farming one, as I mentioned elsewhere, was stupid. It was Paul Harvey lionizing the hard work of farmers. And then it was Dodge saying that you who do little more than brave traffic and the chance for repetitive stress syndrome are pretty much just as Heroic as any stupid farmer. I mean, beautiful photography, sure, but...
• The Audi prom one was about how if you drive their cars, you too will have the courage to rapekiss girls. Because nothing says sexual assault like Audi.
• Kia had both one of the best commercials and the worst. The Hotbots one, with the robots with cleavage, was basically just asinine slapstick (though the accidental robot was amusing). The Where Do Babies Come one was smart, funny, and conveyed a decent message (that Kia's have good voice command tech) and was only marred by an awkward voice actor.
• Go Daddy's, the one with the model kissing that actor who's in the background of EVERYTHING was bizarre and insulting to both a) pretty women and b) the tech savvy people who make today's world actually work. At least Go Daddy is staying on message.
• The one with Willem Dafoe as the devil was well put-together (even if still reinforcing a particularly narrow vision of what a dream-come-true life would look like).
• The Axe ones made me laugh because, hey, astronaut. Reach For The Stars, Asumi!
And now, EASILY THE BEST AD OF THE SUPERBOWL:
• Hyundai's Team ad. Charming, funny, plays to recognizable tropes, and conveys Hyundai's message of "seats seven!" effectively.
If you want to watch them yourself, please do so responsibly: http://screenrant.com/super-bowl-commercials-2013/>